Autumn is a time of letting go and dying to the old. A maple leaf knows when it is time to die to the old and stop functioning in the way it is used to. It stops making chlorophyll and when it does, a strange and beautiful thing happens: It shows its true colors. It puts on a brilliant light show in the crisp blue skies of autumn as if to say, “Look at me! This is my true beauty!” When the fall winds come, it lets go of the old without hesitation or regret and gently floats to the ground – a foreign place to the leaf. For a while, the leaf lies on the ground, wondering what its next job is. As it surrenders further, the leaf begins to decay and becomes food for the tree it once called home. Through the winter, it prepares for another cycle of life to come in the spring.
Similarly, I know it is time to die to the old. The old way of being, thinking, and doing is changing. My former function is about to change and when it does, my true colors will show. Who I truly am and why I am here will be revealed in a new way.
As I was walking yesterday, I meditated on how I have been feeling lately. I am not in this world and not yet in the next. I feel like the leaf that is gently floating between worlds. Like the leaf, I know that I will soon ground this new energy. This winter will be a time of integration of the new in the physical so that by spring, I will be ready to enter into a new life, different from any life change I have experienced.
While I am in this betwixt and between state, I feel disconnected from everything. My energy cannot tune into the frequency of the world around me like it used to. One day I feel incredible joy and the next I am in an indescribable state trying to get the joy feeling again but I can't. It is like going through a rolodex looking for a number and it’s not there because the rolodex can no longer hold the information for this vibration. You have to access it from your smart phone.
I am unplugging from one world and have not yet plugged into the next. It is like upgrading to a new operating system and until the upgrade finishes, I can’t access any programs. Patience and trust are needed now.
A friend of mine I hadn’t heard from in a year called me a couple of weeks ago. She said she had a message for me. Her first words were “Nothing is as it appears.” No truer words were ever spoken. I am seeing everything in my life with new eyes and with a new mind and heart.
This new operating system downloads through the heart. I feel more deeply than I ever have and I can access the power of my heart’s field more easily. Like a child on Christmas Eve anticipating the arrival of Santa, I am excited about what this upgrade may bring. I have a feeling this download will be complete by Christmas. If you have been feeling similarly, look for some extra goodies in your stocking this year!
Until then, be gentle with yourself, rest when needed, and stay in the moment. Surrender, sleep, and synthesize during this sacred season.